When You Just Can’t Stomach It…..

Note: This is an unedited account of a client who came to me to learn meditation to reduce stress-induced elevated cortisol levels. After two co-meditation sessions, I recommended the Breathe Into A Radiant You program. Her dedication, trust, action, the amazing sciences of Āyurveda and Yogā, and the daily guidance the program offers have brought her a life-changing experience.

I had struggled with digestive issues in two ways, physically - in that I had IBS for years, but also in that I really struggled mentally to digest certain parts of the ‘that’s just life’ stuff. There were some things that I just couldn’t stomach….

For the physical element, I had every single food test going, I changed my diet, eliminated all sorts, I yo-yo'd, and even had surgery. Nothing worked for long enough. I was STILL always looking for the nearest bathroom and hoping that I wouldn't get caught out. 

Regarding life digestion, I picked a career that gave me purpose. I was making a change, an activist in me, which I thought would help me to be more accepting of the harsh realities of life. Even that only lasts for a short time.

I discovered, at the ripe age of 42, that I was not processing my food or my experiences. The two are undoubtedly linked. IBS isn't just about what you eat, it's about what you absorb, the toxins of life if you will, and how you process those. 

My journey, on this path, started with my doctor, who told me my cortisol or something was too high. Something was impacting my sleep, my memory, my productivity, my confidence, my ability to deal with anything out of the ordinary, the burnout, and also my inability to lose weight. Despite a ‘good’ diet and regular exercise, monthly facials, and a massage - it was not the ‘self-care’ or stress management that I needed. Especially after years of abusing my body with lack of sleep, stomach issues and not listening to myself. Meditation she said. Try that. We had already done a gut cleanse, but that alone was not enough. Sure, I lost 10 lbs but the other symptoms remained. 

I didn't, and don't yet fully, have the capacity or headspace to deal with what it takes to meditate. It was overwhelming. You soon realize the demons you have hiding, we all have voices in our heads, despite not suffering from textbook trauma of abuse or death, we have all had some negative experience, and there is no hierarchy in those. I learned that your body doesn't know that your pain is less than those who have suffered more than you, it's suffering nonetheless - and you have to respect and honour that. 

Co-meditation is exactly what everyone needs, but mainly because the support and ‘guided’ part makes it more effective, worthwhile, and beneficial. It's like one of those amazing secrets that no one really talks about, your body and its energy is not something that can easily be put into words, but the benefits can be. Firstly, I was FINALLY sleeping through the night. The weightlessness, you literally shed a load. The fact that you don't have to talk, it's not counseling, Mirabelle (with respect) doesn't care what your head is making of it all, everything else is trivial, save for your body and its energy. The realization during the sessions brings clarity, it brings the processing of life, food, experiences, and trauma. For me it was like the gym, I didn't love it, and I found it hard but the benefits were instant. And then I was tired later. So I slept and nurtured my body. You really can't do that with an app or just by yourself if it's the first time you are doing it, you really need proper guidance. Judgment-free and completely confidential. Trust is key. The trust goes both ways in co-med, and in fact the whole program. 

I was so desperate for help, for my kids, my marriage, and my colleagues, that I went to see Mirabelle for help. I had little clue about the work she does, save for the fact that she did yoga and co-meditation. So without any preconceptions or expectations, mainly because I was too busy to research, I went to see her.

First lesson, you need to be in it for yourself, not others, if this is going to work. Mirabelle makes you look inside yourself, address your needs, to listen to your own calls, like no other.

The IBS is the desperate voice of your body, we don't say things like ‘listen to your gut’ for nothing. When you don't listen, or won't let it be heard - it kicks off in a bad way. Mine had been throwing a major tantrum, I blamed the wheat and cheese, but that was only half the problem.

There really is a fire in your belly, and when I was struggling, I’d say ‘I have lost my willpower, my fight, there is no fire in my belly.’ The fire was always there, I just didn't nurture it.

So the program is intense. It's rewarding, it's like nothing I have ever done AND it's heavily supported by Mirabelle. She’s a no-bullshit, kind but not seeking popularity, and brutally honest person. Without her and the commitment I made to this program, my life would be as it was, IBS, PSOS, all the things, and NO SLEEP! This program kickstarted an entire journey into caring for myself, and my body and loving it. To feel good and not just to be thin, but to do it for myself. To say I will be forever grateful is an understatement, I truly believe that I am finally on the way to achieving the best version of myself, and without the support of Mirabelle, it was just not possible. 

The program is a total intervention - specific Ayurvedic food protocols, breathing, daily logs, a specific journal, nightly meditation, the weekly co-med sessions, getting up and sleeping at the same time daily, fixed meal times - but don't be put off by this. I was SO bad in the beginning because I was so busy, so tired, so overwhelmed, so broken. But through the weekly sessions and support you realize, there is always time. You don't have to find it or make it, it's always there. I promised I’d make this commitment to myself, this was basically the last thing left for me to do before I don't know what,  and Mirabelle held me accountable, to me, not to her. You learn that truly you are only letting yourself down, and if you are happy, then carry on, but of course, you aren't happy - otherwise your body would not be rebelling.

So after 9 weeks, what happened?

I slept through the night, my joints aren't as creaky, my IBS has gone- the freedom of not rushing off to the bathroom is like no other, the noise of food in my brain has gone - I am not constantly thinking about it, I am tasting food rather than grasping for it, I have lost weight, I have reduced inflammation even my PCOS has gone.

At work, I am taking a moment before responding, I am properly breathing (to the best of my ability) one small thing no longer sends me over the edge AND finally, I have my fire back, I am productive, I have less brain fog, I don't forget what I was saying mid-sentence. And before I go to bed I think of a few things in the day that brought me joy, however small,  and you realize that life is not so bad at all. I have finally gotten back to listening to my gut, to trusting it, and can stomach things sooo much better.  I wanted to be heard, always making sure I had an opinion, that I was the voice for the voiceless or an advocate for those who needed it, and all along the one voice that I wasn't listening to was my own. 


All that takes bravery, commitment, vulnerability but most importantly perhaps the right support. Mirabelle will tailor this program for you, she guides you to come into your own. To find your fire and nurture it. 


Here’s to stomaching it, and beautifully so.

Closing Note: If this blog post resonated with you, do leave a comment for the author.

Your body, mind, and heart are designed in and for wholeness. This is true for everyone. Āyurveda and Yogā are just two of the many modalities created by Source for coming into wholeness when we have become fragmented. Whatever you choose in life, always ask if it will take you closer to wholeness or fragmentation.

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